Oh. My. God, this is the best Smissmass yet. Really it is. Finally an update that I’ll have time to play! Plus a brand new comic! Team Fortress 2 (TF2) lore is one of the more interesting video game lores I’ve encountered. Oh you didn’t know there was lore? My my you have some catching up to do! Here you go!
Each update comes with a new piece of the puzzle which I love. Most games tend to present you the storyline from the very start, TF2 does this wonderful thing where you can chose to delve into the often manic and crazy world of 9 identical mercenaries or you can chose to just blow people up. You chose how involved you want to be in world, and regardless of what you chose you’re going to have a great time.
I love this game. Oof, let me not get side tracked, onwards with the update!
So! As I’m sure you’ve now read (not so subtle hint to read the comic), Gray Mann has had it up to here with us talented (ahem) mercenaries killing all his beautifully created robots and has decided to build a super smart engineer robot to kill us all! Rats.
I can’t imagine it’s going to go better than the other times, but he can hope eh? We’re going to kick his butts! Robots are no match for us! Ah.. hmm, wait, the new mecha-engineers can do what now? Teleport? … and teleport the other robots? Hmm, guys, this looks tough. You go on ahead, I’ll be right behind you with reinforcements! And sanviches!
Err, so what else is in this update?
Crates! Ha! It’s funny last night I was discussing how I would never buy another key, because crates are backpack cancer and are just the worst thing. I never seem to get anything decent out of them, only rubbish that I don’t want and are worth nothing. Never ever ever again I said.
… till I saw this.
Oh god almighty is that a festive huntsman?! I need it, in my life, as of yesterday. I’m the worst sniper, but the only fun I ever seem to have playing that class is as a huntsman sniper. LOOK HOW COOL IT IS! There are lights and everything!
And oh my, well hello there you Reindeer-Balloonicorn-esque treasure you. Will you be my friend? Of-course you will, here, come into my backpack. I’ll take care of you!
I’m aware I’m talking about virtual items.
I must buy keys! I must have these non-essential vanity items!
Speaking of digital items!
Finally the medic gets a new weapong! Whooooo! I’m so chuffed! Some people are calling it the new Quick-Fix and they can go suck on an egg because I love my QF! Silly humans, just because it’s not viable for competitive play doesn’t mean it isn’t the fun to play with.
The stats look really interesting too, I’m not sure how it’s going to play yet as I haven’t actually got one. It’s only £1.99 in the store, but I feel like if I play more it’ll drop sooner or later.
But I want it now?
Eh.. it’s so cheap.
I’ll just buy it, yeah.. yeah.
Merry Smissmass everyone! May all the other team become giblets!